Several months ago, I was talking with an acquaintance about some relationship issues that she was having.  After about 5 hours, we were able to come to some pretty insightful conclusions about why she’s having them. One of her main complaints is that her guy doesn’t respond to her in the way that she wants him to, when she wants him to. And as a result, she would flies off the handle in emotional outbursts, which pushes him away.

As we got to the bottom of what her problems with him were, I tried to help her see the root cause of her issues, which is that she is too attached to her expectations of people. Not just with him, but she expects everyone, her friends included, to be like her and handle people and situations in the way that she would handle them and when they don’t it upsets her. There’s nothing wrong with having expectations, the problem is when we become so attached to our expectations that we can't see past them. So I helped her see how holding on to expectations that people will act the way you want them to will only lead to disappointment.

Everyone is on their own unique path, expressing life in their own unique way and for some people; it’s hard to except people for who and what they are if they do things differently than you. This is the root of many relationship issues, family drama and even the root cause of various forms of discrimination.

Accepting others as they are and not getting offended by or trying to control another’s actions is a true sign of emotional maturity. When you need to grow in this area, your relationships will help you grow, so you just have to pay attention to the signs and try to understand why you’re going through what you’re going through. There’s always a reason that has to do with YOU and not them, so dig deep until you get to the root! –love, sj