We get involved in these romantic and intimate relationships and think we own somebody, don’t we? We don’t say it, but when your approach to relationships is emotional, it inevitably happens because the approach is selfish.  We don’t think we’re being selfish, we think we just want to be loved and fulfilled and there’s nothing wrong with that if you take a spiritual approach to love, but if you don’t, then its just selfish.

If you don’t adopt a spiritual approach, you may never realize that the love, time and affection that you’ve been giving have been purely emotional and conditional, and when its time to let go, you just won't know how to beacause you're emotionally attached to the person and to your expectations. Allow me to explain.

A spiritual approach to relationships allows you to see the relationship for what it is…an opportunity to learn and grow as a person. You have something to contribute to that person’s life journey to help them evolve as a person, as they do you. That’s the underlying purpose of every relationship, whether intimate or otherwise. But if we have an emotional approach to relationships, many times we can live under false pretenses because our emotions can cloud our judgment and the true purpose of the relationship.

In our relationships, if we seek to understand the purpose of the relationship for both people involved, and then maintain a non-attached attitude about our expectations within the relationship, it will be easier to love unconditionally.

For example, say you’re in a relationship with someone who you think you really love. And let’s say that person tells you that they want out of the relationship for whatever reason. If you do not yet know how to love unconditionally and are emotionally immature and attached to your expectations regarding this person and the relationship, you will have a difficult time accepting your mate’s decision and letting them go. However, if you have a spiritual perspective about relationships, you love them unconditionally and that means allowing others the freedom to do what they need to do and be what they need to be without negative interference on your part.

If you truly love and care for someone unconditionally, and you are emotionally mature and not attached to your expectations, you will not try to force, coerce, control or manipulate someone into being who or what you want them to be for YOU. You will not try to own them. You will set them free to be whom and what they need to be for THEM.

That’s unconditional love, that’s emotional maturity. A spiritual approach to love and relationships is an elevated approach that seeks to add value to another’s life without conditions. A spiritual approach allows you to be less emotionally attached to people and outcomes and more consciously aware of the purpose the relationship serves in both of your lives. So if you're in a relationship or seeking to get involved, take some time to examine yourself, your motives and the purpose of the relationship.  Do you take a spiritual or emotional approach to love?  And how happy are you with this approach?  Just think about it.  –love, sj