Dear Tony,

My husband’s 3 adult children want to throw him a surprise 50th birthday party with their mom - HIS EX WIFE. Long story short, my husband is cordial with their mother, but he really doesn't care for her very much. They had a messy break up. Obviously the kids either have forgotten about their drama or have a jaded perspective of their reality. They see their parents getting along at this point, because they've moved on. Still, there's no sitting around camp fires singing KUM BAY YA. They're not all that 'cool'. Here's the deal, I can't let my man walk blindly into that situation. He'd be angry with me and terribly uncomfortable. However, on the flip side; if I shoot down the idea to the kids, they're going to think I'm hating.